How Rude!!!!!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by giraffe326, Jan 22, 2013.

  1. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jan 22, 2013

    Uggh! So today is my first day in a new grade level and it is a teacher work day.
    I am in my room and I get this text from my former teammate.
    "We would love for you to still go to lunch with us, but we are going to Japanese."

    I don't like Asian food at all, so she knows I wouldn't go.

    Am I overreacting, or was that incredibly rude? She didn't have to say anything about lunch! I haven't even laid eyes on her today!
     
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  3. a2z

    a2z Aficionado

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    Jan 22, 2013


    I think you are overreacting.

    I'm surprised there is nothing that you would find tolerable at a Japanese restaurant, even if it had to be a special order. My SIL goes to Chinese restaurants all the time and claims to love the food, but she gets them to steam chicken with no spices and steam vegetables with no spices or sauce. Yet, she claims to love Chinese food when she basically took all the Chinese out of the food.
     
  4. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    Jan 22, 2013

    Maybe I am missing it but I think she was being nice. She wanted to let you know you were still invited even though you moved. She probably was afraid you would find out and so she didn't want you to think you weren't invited. As for it being Japanese, if people go out to eat regularly there is bound to be a time that someone doesn't like the food. I wouldn't be to hurt by it
     
  5. BettyRubble

    BettyRubble Rookie

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    Jan 22, 2013

    I think she was just making sure you didn't think they were totally ignoring you.
     
  6. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Aficionado

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    This! :2cents:
     
  7. hbcaligirl1985

    hbcaligirl1985 Cohort

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    Jan 22, 2013

    You are overreacting.
     
  8. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Fanatic

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    Jan 22, 2013

    I would probably feel a little hurt. I can be sensitive though.
     
  9. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jan 22, 2013

    Well, she is more the "let's pick Japanese because giraffe doesn't like it" type. I could hear her voice when I read it, and it was not a nice voice :lol:

    I had literally no one to vent to at school at that exact moment...
     
  10. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Phenom

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    Jan 22, 2013

    I wouldn't have thought twice about it.
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Guru

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    Probably would have been better stated phrased a bit differently, but I also think she was trying to be inclusive.
     
  12. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Fanatic

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    Jan 22, 2013

    I definitely think it depends on the person. I know people who would've done exactly that so that you wouldn't go. I also agree that she may have meant to be inclusive. You know her better than us obviously!
     
  13. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Jan 22, 2013

    I think she was being sincere, unless you personally know how she is. I would love the idea of having someone invite me to lunch. Next time they invite you, let them know that you can't make it, BUT can they please pick up something at another place for you.
    You'll find out how sincere they are, for sure.
    Give her the benefit of a doubt about the invitation.
    Rebel1
     
  14. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jan 22, 2013

    giraffe~I would have thought the same thing.
     
  15. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jan 22, 2013

    Personally, I'll eat any cuisine. If I'm invited to lunch by coworkers, the main purpose is for the camraderie. I can always eat more when I get home. I very rarely eat out with coworkers though, so that's partly the reason I probably feel this way.
     
  16. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Aficionado

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    I don't think it was necessarily rude. Think about this, which would you like?
    - they don't ask you to lunch, because they know you don't like Japanese, so why even ask?
    - they know you don't like Japanese, but ask you anyways so you don't feel left out. And who knows, maybe you brought your own lunch, but would still like to go sit with them and talk.
     
  17. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jan 22, 2013

    You shouldn't imply tone to her email. I would have responded back: thanks for thinking of me...let's plan another day soon for a team lunch.:)
     
  18. waterfall

    waterfall Phenom

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    Jan 22, 2013

    I think this would entirely depend on the person who sent it. If the person tends to be passive agressive it could definitely be interpreted as snarky. My other thought was why purposely pick somewhere that you know someone doesn't like, or why not ask if you wanted to just come and hang out anyway. My team is really close, so maybe it just doesn't make sense to me, but we'd never go somewhere that would purposely exclude one person. We have a pd day tomorrow (which means lunch out-yay!) and my team asked me right away where the places I could go were because they know I'm dieting.
     
  19. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jan 22, 2013

    It was a dig. We have clashed quite a bit this year- enough for my P to move me to separate us. (P was probably tired of hearing me complain about her. P is 100% on my side and has been riding her butt pretty hard lately. She is not doing what she is supposed to be doing.)
    If it had come from my other former teammate, I would have thought she was trying to be nice. I didn't realize it when I posted initially, but I had a snippy email from her because the new teacher couldn't find something.
     
  20. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Jan 23, 2013

    I would be upset by the test, too. I'm the world's pickiest eater, but I'll find something to get anywhere. That said, if she meant to be inclusive, I would think the text would have been worded very differently. Or even better, the message would have been delivered in person. Hopefully changing grade levels let's you move away from that personality.
     
  21. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Jan 23, 2013

    You know the person better than we do, so you're the only one who can decide if it was sincere or snarky.

    Just taking the message at face value, I would assume the group decided on Japanese for a change of pace. We had a couple of team lunches at my school last year. I was never included in the decision of where we would eat, but was always invited to join the group. We have a Japanese restaurant in town that many people like, but I've never tried it. I wouldn't go there on my own, but if the team were eating lunch there, I would go along and give it a try. I think I could probably found something I could eat.

    If it was a snarky dig, then it may be best to just remind yourself how fortunate you are to be away from her now. :hugs: Even if it was, it isn't hurting her at all if the dig upsets you. It only hurts you. Don't give her the power to make you upset.
     

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