Holding on for four More months, or pulling the plug?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by LittleShakespeare, Feb 27, 2019.

  1. greendream

    greendream Cohort

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    Mar 1, 2019

    Yep, I'm aware. Which is why I was discouraging the volunteering of such information. Others saw it as a positive thing to bring up when job searching. I disagree.
     
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  2. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    I'm not quite sure why you think I do not understand your intent.
     
  3. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I worry not only about you, but about your students. It doesn’t sound like anyone is having a good year, which is unfortunate for everyone. If the anxiety is to such a great level, the kids are going to be impacted. You say no medical leave and that you don’t want people to know a diagnosis. However, I’m sure people already know/suspect just based on what they observe. You do not have to reveal any reason for taking the leave.

    Several of my friends take medication for anxiety. One has it especially bad, so she needs more frequent medical intervention in terms of medication and counseling. I know these things because we are friends.

    You might also think of it this way. Would you want your child in your own classroom on your best day? An average day? Your worst day? How many days do you have where you’d say no? It could be time to walk away.
     
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  4. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Teachers are supposed to be "on" any time they are with students. If you think there will be a chance where you can't "perform" in front of the classroom for any reason or for any amount of time then you probably should find another profession.
     
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  5. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Of course. I am "on" all the time. Always smiling, always being the clown. Whenever I can't do it, that's when I stay home, and I think I took a total of five sick days. I got bashed here before for taking sick days when needed, sooo... :p

    And yeah, I've already mentioned that I'm leaving the profession. My question was more about if I should stick it out for the next four months, or just leave before spring break. Thanks though.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2019
  6. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Because even after clearly stating that I did not want to take medical leave in a previous post, you continued to offer advice about medical leave. When I restated that I do not wish to take a medical leave, you said it's best to stay informed, and I thanked you for keeping me informed, but I still think it's not a good idea. Then you mentioned that you got me the first time. #Confused :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2019
  7. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    By the way, I have never had a meltdown in front of the kids, if that's what you're expecting. Never anxious, never angry. I've always treated them with kindness and love, even the kid who wanted to throw hands at me. I never showed that anxious and depressed side to anyone, not even my best friend. The anxiety happens on my way to school or at night when I can't sleep. That's why I'm struggling.

    And yes, I would love to have my own child in my classroom. Every single lesson is planned with love and attention to detail. I bring treats for my students and spend my own money on resources. I have gotten kids into colleges, especially my alma mater. The only thing is this: it's killing me to do this much work with a faulty administration, and I'm an anxious person (IN PRIVATE) by nature, so I don't want to go home and have a panic attack every day.

    And yes, I will be walking away very soon. I'm taking the other users' advice here that I can just stick it out for four more months.
     
  8. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I would advice you to leave now, not later.

    Yes, four months doesn't seem like that long in some ways, but it is a lifetime when you are clearly miserable.

    It is very obvious that you are miserable. If you weren't, you wouldn't keep returning with the same issues. If would be nice if someone here had a magic cure to all your issues, but it just isn't so. Don't beat yourself up. Don't be angry with those trying to help. Don't do yourself and your students the disservice of being where you are miserable. A job isn't worth your mental and physical health.
     
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  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Not being able to deal with work on a particular day isn't really the same as taking off because you are sick. Not that people shouldn't utilize their sick days, but it just seems like taking a sick day is putting a band aid on a problem that will never "heal" itself. What if you ran out of sick days and didn't feel like working on a particular day. That's the real issue.
     
  10. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    What makes you think I'm angry at the people who are trying to help? That's why I'm here, aren't I?
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2019
  11. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    I appreciate your opinion, but I respectfully disagree. I think mental health days are important, and whenever I take a sick day for anxiety, I am sure to bring a doctor's note. And of course, it would be wiser to leave, but I think I want to go with the previous users' advice that it's only just four months.
     
  12. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    I apologize for giving you general information you didn't want that may apply to any medical leave, not just for mental health. I thought you would understand that "if you ever take medical leave" was a general statement that meant ever, not just in this instance, in this job, or just for mental health purposes.
     
  13. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Great. Thanks!
     
  14. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    That was in a general “don’t” list.

    I never said you were angry with us.
     
  15. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    And I really apologize for asking for advice here. Sometimes, when you're going through something so rough, you don't know who you can turn to. Sadly, it's just hard when you're a teacher struggling with anxiety, and no one else gets it. I don't really talk about it with the other teachers at school since it's not professional, and my family honestly doesn't get it either. That's why I come here when I'm having a moment of weakness, since other teachers might have felt this way before, but I know not to do that anymore. I can tell people are annoyed with me, my posts, and my vacillation, but thankfully, I won't have a need to return to this forum after I leave my teaching career. So, that's good news for everyone here. :p

    Thanks for your help. Have a great rest of the school year, everyone! :heart:
     
  16. JimG

    JimG Comrade

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    Mar 2, 2019

    With what parts of your failed observation did you disagree?
    What did the student say to you/how did he try to come at you? What was admin’s response to the write-up?
     
  17. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    My VP looks for holes in everything. She used to complain that my lessons weren’t challenging enough. Now, she complains that they’re too challenging. She is known throughout the district to fail everyone’s observation. She even failed someone for having black tape in the room instead of blue, our school’s color. I asked for a different observer for my last one.

    This student has serious anger issues and is very confrontational. His middle school teachers have so many notes about him. If you ask him to sit down or settle down, he will get violent. I asked him three times to stop talking to his best friend, and he called me “fu*king gay” and the C word. I had called security to remove him from my classroom, and of course he acted innocent towards the security guard, but as he passed my classroom, he shoved things off my desk and came at me like he wanted to fight me. But he also gave me the middle finger on his way out. My VP adores this child, so he was sent back to my class with no punishment. I think it’s because he’s also Dominican, like her. He’s mentioned that that’s all they talk about on several occasions.
     
  18. JimG

    JimG Comrade

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    Mar 2, 2019

    With all due respect, you did not actually answer the question about the observation. Maybe there are some objective things in the observation that you could change to make the remainder of the year better.

    Regarding the student, if he truly did all you mentioned, and you included that information in your write-up, but he faced no punishment, then perhaps it is time to go over your VP’s head.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2019
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  19. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Mar 2, 2019

    And this is why I will always think my private school handles discipline better than it’s public school counterparts. If said student did that in my classroom, I would immediately stop class, call down to the front office for two security guards who would then physically restrain the student if they resisted, and haul him off to the principal’s office where he would get the tongue lashing of his life.

    Now, I only had to do this once, but I will always remember when an ex-student battered another student in my second year and so I had to resort to having security involved. Next, the principal just verbally laid into him (and he’s a tall guy who you don’t want to mess with) and the shouting went on for some time. All the while, I looked on and cheered inside. Eventually, the bullied student consented to having criminal charges pressed against the buffoon and the police officers took him away. It was perfectly handled, I think.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2019
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  20. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    With all due respect, I mentioned that the VP thought my lesson was too challenging. That's it. No feedback, nothing. Did you want me to email you a copy of the observation for your reference?

    And yes, my union is getting involved in regards to the child.
     

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