Gender Roles for Teachers (Double Standard?)

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by cornflakes, Dec 26, 2018.

  1. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Fanatic

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    :eek:
     
  2. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Fanatic

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    Some of them, yes. Others, not so much. Being smacked on the behind by a rolled up magazine or having a student rub their hand all the way up your arm and across your chest as they walk by are totally different things.
     
  3. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    .
     
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  4. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Fanatic

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    Oh, I have. You would not believe most of what has happened over the years...
     
  5. Aces

    Aces Cohort

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    I mean....we're a regional high school that was created after two fairly big school districts were combined into one.
     
  6. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Fanatic

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    Oh gotcha. What is the student population? My private school is a few thousand and that’s just enough for me.
     
  7. Aces

    Aces Cohort

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    1900/2000, I believe. It's right around that marker. (So yes, roughly 21% participate in band)
     
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  8. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Some of our middle school kids forget that they look almost like grownups. We try to teach them handshaking. Some prefer a fist bump or high five. For those who insist on hugs, we do the “side hug only” discusssion.
     
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  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Even those kids need to feel connected. Even in high SES districts, school can be the best 7 hours in some kids’ day. You never know.
     
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  10. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    I never turn away a hug. Ever.

    I also get a lot of kids who tell me they love me. Especially K-2 students. When I first became an educator, I wouldn’t know what to say. Now, I say thing such as “What a nice thing to say” or “You’re so sweet”.

    Kids need warmth and affection.
     
  11. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    This. If one of my grade 7 students needs a hug, they get one. Never in private, but it's always there.
     
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  12. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    .
     
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  13. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Fanatic

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    I think it’s different when it’s middle and high school students, especially ones who make it weird by holding on too long or try to hug you whenever they see you in the halls.

    I’d rather they just kept their distance. They can get affection from their friends, family members, and significant others, not from me.
     
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  14. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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  15. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    I'm not going to pretend like I'm the expert on middle and/or high school because I'm definitely not. I was strictly speaking to elementary school.
     
  16. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Fanatic

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    Understood.
     
  17. teacherguy111

    teacherguy111 Cohort

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    I am a straight male Elementary School teacher. I pretty much just don't touch students at all. Then I don't have to worry about it. I do have a few signature handshakes with older elementary School boys in 5th grade.
     
  18. cornflakes

    cornflakes Rookie

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    Sorry have been away for a long time. I can't reply to everything but I liked this one. I, too, don't initiate things. Most of the time, the kids themselves might suddenly hold your hand or give you a hug or anything affectionate and for me, I always think it's healthy affection but then quickly realize that perception is a dangerous game and if someone else were to see that, they might think it much worse because of how it looked....especially if you were a male teacher and the student was a female. That's why I was asking if that is such a big deal, then do they also make it a big deal if you are say a male gay teacher and you interacted with a boy student like that. I know everyone says, regardless of gender all conduct should be professional/appropriate etc but in reality, you and I both know that there is a difference. If a boy scores a goal and the male teacher rubs his hair as if to congratulate or encourage him, that is seen almost as no big deal and a sweet gesture. But the moment you touch a girls hair, it looks inappropriate and people might think you are some pervert or creep. That's what bugs me. Why the double-standard? If it's solely based on your sexual orientation, then we should also cringe if we see a male gay teacher rub a boys head to congratulate, but think nothing of it if he rubs a girls head because we know he can't be sexually attracted to her so there is no danger. This double-standard bugs me a lot. As Leaborb192 said, sometimes the healthy physical affection you give to that child may be the ONLY one they get for the whole day or week. I feel sad when we have to live in such strict times that we now have to remove healthy physical affection for the sake of being overly concerned of the potential dangers of touching a student/child.

    I feel that we are living in pre-crime days. You can be gulity before even having done anything wrong for simply putting yourself at "potential" risk. That could apply to everything in life. If we are so afraid that we can't be humans anymore and must be cold robotic machines, I think we are only losing this battle more than winning. Yes, we want to prevent accidents and bad things from happening, but at what cost? It's like saying, to stop parents from abusing their children at home, parents should no longer be allowed to raise their children in the privacy of their own home and lives. Every parent now must be supervised in the home 24/7. This is the only way to ensure 0% chance of child abuse.
     
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  19. cornflakes

    cornflakes Rookie

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    Following on my thought about parenting, I often call "parenting" as one of the last bastions of freedom. Think about it. In everything else in this world, security has increased, surveillance has increased, accountability has increased. You can't go anywhere, do anything, without certification, credentials, training, approval, etc. But parenting, nobody had to pass a course for that. No requirements of any kind, no credentials or evaluation of any kind. You are allowed to simply become a parent any time you want and you can pretty much have 100% of your way in the house until of course you do something really wrong that gets you targeted. Parenting is arguably the most important "job" in this world....and yet it has the least amount or ZERO requirements to get accepted into that "job". It seems so contradictory and ironic that in schools billions policies are now in affect that put you under the microscope and scrutiny at all times which is why the overreaction for everyone to just be squeaky clean and say no to any kind of touch...just play it safe, don't touch ever! That's a great philosophy (sarcasm). But at home, parents have no policies, no rules, they are fit to run their home anyway they see fit (until they've crossed the line and by that time its too late).
     
  20. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    .
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019

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