Discussion in 'General Education' started by Leaborb192, Jun 22, 2016.
Jul 7, 2016
"Mrs. B., when were you born?"
"Wooooooow, what was the world like in the 1900's?"
Jul 8, 2016
This is one of my favorite memories of last year, one I'll never forget!
I taught 8th grade ELA last year. After spending weeks on writing essays and prepping my students for the English essay portion of their state tests, I could tell that the kids were burned out and needed to do something more fun. Being a Titanic history nerd, I decided the create a Titanic unit and taught reading and narrative writing skills using Titanic literature. The kids loved it! I created this unit in time for the anniversary of the sinking, so on April 14, I decided to create stations in which the students had to analyze original photographs, newspaper advertisements, articles, and survivor tales. One station required the students to create a card for either the survivors or the victims' families.
Everything was going well. The kids were engaged and having fun on their last day of learning about the Titanic. In the middle of rotating stations, I had a student come up to me with a look of horror on her face. She handed me the card she had made and said, "Miss P! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I couldn't remember how to spell the word 'happened,' so I wrote something else." Thinking the worst, I opened the card and saw this beautiful message:
"I'm sorry for your trauma and loss. I heard what went down, and I'm sorry."
I laughed so hard I cried. (And, yes! I'm keeping the card!)
I almost lost it, this is fantastic.
My favorite thing a child ever said to me was: Miss McGrath! My vagina is telling me its time to go potty! (She was 4)
One of my highschoolers asked me if I thought Santa Claus as really real. She was serious.
Omg. I spat out my water. So funny!
Here's my favorite one.
The bell rang, and I walked into class, shut the door, and turned around and said, "Good morning lovelies!"
One of my students looked up from his bell ringer and said, "That wasn't very nice!"
Confused along with most of the class, "What wasn't nice?"
Him: "What you just said."
Me: "Telling you good morning lovelies?"
Him: "Ohhhhh, I thought you said 'Good morning uglies!"
Jul 9, 2016
Every year my husband comes to meet my students. I guess to identify with the names that he hears so much about. Well after one of his visits, I ran into a parent who said that her daughter came home and very excitedly announced, "Momma, Mrs. E has a husband and his name is Mr. E." :lol:
Jul 11, 2016
One of my sorority sisters in college told me she believed in Santa Claus until she was 14 or so and that her (at the time) 15-year-old sister still believed in him!
I don't understand it; do her friends play along?! How do you still believe in fictional characters well into your teens?
After school one year I would keep one of my former students until his mom was done teaching at her school. It was about 30 minutes or so not long. Well one day I had several other boys in my room. (they were all going home with the student that I watched) They were hungry so I made them several bags of popcorn. One of the spilled some on the floor. The young man that I watched everyday told them to clean up the popcorn so I wouldn't get mad. So the little started eating the popcorn off the floor. Everyone was mortified that he was eating it off the floor. He says "thats ok I am a bottom feeder anyway"
Jul 19, 2016
My middle son recently had too much Coke on a car trip and started channeling Stephen Wright speaking with the energy of a young Robin Williams. I can't possibly do his retelling of various fairy tales justice, but during his rant he mentioned :
"I used to think that LA means 'the' so the sport lacrosse should just be 'the cross' and I also thought people who call that basketball player 'LeBron James' are just being obnoxious "
May 19, 2018
I told a kid to get off his phone. He looked at me with a straight face and said, “But Mr. G, I wasn’t sitting on it...” I couldn’t hold back a smirk because it was whitty. He put it away and I let the comment slide.
I don’t consider it funny, but some of my students seem to love getting a rise out of me by making sexual innuendo toward or around me. It’s pretty bad when you become desensitized to their buffoonery.
They don’t think it’s funny when I get their parents and the administration involved, but some of them (juniors and seniors) keep testing the waters. It sucks being an adult that looks like a teenager in their mid-teens... I’m 26, for goodness sakes!
Innuendo aside, there was an incident where a student kept throwing things in class and I told him not to. He looked me straight in the eyes, dropped said projectile on the floor, and started kicking it around the room. I burst out laughing because he said that he wasn’t throwing things and therefore complying with the rule. He actually helped me because I have since modified my rule to “no projectiles (thrown, kicked, flicked, swatted, etc.)” instead of “no throwing things.”
Funniest thing I have ever had a kid say wasn't to me exactly. He had missed a rather simple spelling word, while we were correcting he realized it. He announced rather loudly to the class, "G*dd*mm*t, Obama, thanks a lot!"
Wouldn't be much, but coming out of a third grader's mouth had me cracking a rib while telling him not to swear in class.
This just reminded me of something one of my 2nd graders said last year. We were reading something and I was explaining the word “disorderly.” This kid says, “my desk is d**n disorderly!” And I’m trying so hard not to laugh at his correct but quite inappropriate use of our new vocabulary word. I just said, “yes, but we don’t say that word at school.” While inwardly laughing.
So my first pre-internship observation of my CT's classes:
CT: John, stop touching Jose.
John: I didn't touch him!
CT: You just poked him, I saw you.
John: Technically I didn't touch him because atoms are polar and can't actually touch.
I had to try so hard not to laugh. John and I got along great LOL.
Doing a KWL chart before a 60's themed unit, I realized just how little of history my students grasped. "Did they have electricity, cars, school? Were there dinosaurs?" The close-to-retirement aged para just about died trying not to facepalm.
"Stevie Wonder was born immature." Well, aren't we all?
We had the kids come up with their own EGBDF pneumonic instead of Every Good Boy Does Fine and got one starting with, "Every Ginormous Booty," . . . it didn't end well.
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