Funny dialogue with students

Discussion in 'General Education' started by RussianBlueMommy, Dec 7, 2017.

  1. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Dec 7, 2017

    What is one of the funniest/craziest conversations you have had with a student?

    Today (in a class of seniors mind you)

    Student: Can I go wash my hands? I have green marker on it.
    Me: No. Nobody leaves, you know the rules.
    Student: How am I supposed to get this off my hand?
    Me: Why is it on there?
    Student: I wanted to know what it would do if I drew on my hand.
    Me: -_-... Sorry not leaving.
     
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  3. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    Dec 7, 2017

    ,,,
     
  4. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Dec 7, 2017

    We have free seating at my school, but my classroom was getting crowded and noisy, so I told students they could only be in my room if they were working in my subject matter. One of my more impish young men was talking and bouncing all over the place, so I told him he needed to sit with his Physical Science teacher. Five minutes later, he was at my classroom door. This exchange occurred.

    Student: Mrs. Fiddle, I'm coming in!
    Me: Oh? On what grounds?
    Student: (pauses, then points triumphantly to the floor) These grounds right HERE!

    I laughed so hard, I had to let him stay.
     
  5. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Dec 7, 2017

    What is free seating??
     
  6. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Dec 7, 2017

    I subbed the same 1st grade class on Monday and today.
    One little girl said, "your baby STILL hasn't come out?"

    Ummm since Monday? No. Not how that works sweetie.
     
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  7. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Dec 8, 2017

    Students work on their assignments anywhere in the building where there is a teacher. All lessons are one-on-one.
     
  8. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Companion

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    Dec 8, 2017

    I am a before and after school aide while I am in college one kindergartner is convinced that College has nap times and cubbies for our backpacks. When I told there that was not the case she was prepared to go talk to my professors and make them give us nap time.
     
  9. ms.irene

    ms.irene Groupie

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    Dec 8, 2017

    On a rainy day:

    Student 1: Can I take off my shoes? They are wet and my feet are cold.
    Student 2: Can I take mine off, too? They have blood on them.
    Student 1: Ewwww!
    Student 2: It's from a duck.
    .....
     
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  10. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Dec 8, 2017

    I like this a lot. Private school?
     
  11. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Charter.
     
  12. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    Dec 9, 2017

    It started snowing while my preschoolers were at recess. They were thrilled, but, my favorite quote had to be the little guy that said: "It's raining snow!!" :D
     
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  13. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Feb 9, 2018

    "Kiddo, please do not smear the gluestick on your face".

    It's been a day.
     
  14. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Feb 9, 2018

    It's been a day here too. One of those days I just want to go home and cry over a nice glass of wine.
     
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  15. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Phenom

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    Feb 9, 2018

    My middle school kids say some really off the wall things sometimes. Bless their hearts, they are a mess. I'm glad they say funny things because it keeps me from wanting to kill them.

    I like saying things to keep them on their toes whenever I can. It makes it more fun for me

    Student: May I have a piece of candy?
    Me: Sure. The candy jar is in the closet.
    Student: It is freezing in here! Why is it so cold in the closet?
    Me: It keeps the bodies fresh.

    :eek:
     
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  16. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Feb 9, 2018

    An amusing vindication was someone came into to observe, per a plan, how many times a Kiddo (not glue kiddo) was off-task. Oh, Kiddo was in full mode, probably the most distracted I have ever seen him. And it was being recorded!

    I also found out which kiddo has destroyed a hundred dollars worth of headphones.
     
  17. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Feb 9, 2018

    You remind me of a teacher I had in high school. She was absolutely deadpan with some very bizarre, almost sick humor. She was also probably the best history teacher I ever met.

    I ran into her last month and was just thrilled.
     
  18. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Feb 9, 2018

    This isn't exactly funny, but surprising, anyway. A 7 year old student who was not communicating in English in October, interrupted while I was reading a book on Monday by saying: "I know this book is fiction because dogs can't talk in real life." To say I was shocked is an understatement. I also tutor his sister, age 8. She told me that somebody called somebody else a 'pillow-gram'. I was confused and kept asking what that was. She said, 'You know, like with the first Americans.' Ahhhhh, a pilgrim. Yeah.
     
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