Family Vent (gay drama)

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by JustMe, Sep 16, 2012.

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  1. bison

    bison Habitué

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    Sep 16, 2012

    Ellen definitely rules. I don't watch her show but for some reason I've been watching a lot of clips online lately. They're hilarious.
     
  2. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Sep 16, 2012

    Not to get all super serious here, but Ellen really does inspire me. I consider her a major role model in my life. Even adults can use role models. :)
     
  3. bison

    bison Habitué

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    She really is a great role model. She's funny, intelligent, strong, and stands up for what she believes. I bet she'd make a great teacher! ;)
     
  4. Kat53

    Kat53 Devotee

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    Sep 16, 2012

    Ellen is hilarious!? She's someone who feels like a friend when you watch her show!
     
  5. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Sep 16, 2012

    My parents and siblings have always been really good about accepting me for who I am--regardless of my sexuality.

    I'm not "out" to my extended family. I'm sure some speculate about why I'm not married, but I rarely see them (except for when there's a wedding or funeral), so I couldn't care less about their opinions.

    I am a 30-year-old teacher who is hardworking, kind, loving, and intelligent. I also happen to be gay. My mom always says that if there's any part of that equation that people can't accpet, they're not worth a second thought.

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."- Dr. Seuss
     
  6. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    YTG, I hope my cousin keeps those words of wisdom from Dr. Seuss close to his heart. :)

    Our family is crazy and beyond my immediate family we are not close whatsoever. Hopefully my mother's attitude toward my cousin doesn't affect him. It seems, though, it would take time to get to that point.
     
  7. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Sep 17, 2012

    Even my Grandma watches Ellen, "even though she is gay, she is really funny" in her words.

    Yes, there is a good deal of bigotry on both sides of my family. I have a cousin who is a lesbian or maybe bisexual. We don't talk about it, but I can tell from her facebook page. She lives in California so she can live pretty freely without telling the family. I can't imagine it going over well.

    They may surprise you though. My uncle just got remarried to a black woman this spring and this was a very big deal for my family. I expected at least 2 of my uncles to skip the wedding. I was really pleasantly surprised that all but one of my uncles agreed to be IN the wedding, and the other one at least came for the ceremony, even though he left right after it. They might come around.
     
  8. KateL

    KateL Habitué

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    Sep 17, 2012

    I have a cousin who's gay. The family has never, ever talked about it. Grandma used to say how nice it was that he would bring a friend for the holidays since not everyone has a family to go to for the holidays. (My cousin's boyfriend had a very nice family.) My dad used to be dead set against gay people, and he still doesn't interact with my cousin much, but he has never said anything at family events. He is still opposed to my cousin and his boyfriend adopting a child, since children "should not be raised in that atmosphere." Nevermind that my cousin has been with his boyfriend for as long as I've been with my husband. I don't think anything will ever change my dad's mind, but he is civil to my cousin and doesn't boycott family events. Maybe that's the best you can hope for with your parents.
     
  9. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Sep 17, 2012

    She is a great rold model!
     
  10. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Sep 17, 2012

    It is too bad that THAT would keep family apart.
    I do not like Public Display of Affections straight or Gay.
    My feeling is I don't care what your orientation is just don't "PUSH" it on me. Don't push your gayness, your overboard affection, your homophobic, your bigotry, your lack of tolerance or your "rights" on me (I have enough of my own, and don't want anymore). I will not annoy you so don't annoy me. If I don't like you or your cause I will either socialize with you or not. Just don't tell me I am wrong and you are right, we just disagree.
    None of my relatives are LGBT but I have friends who are.

    BTW Ellen is my girlfriend
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Sep 17, 2012

    :haha:

    Thanks for the replies everyone. It's just sad when people you care about have such hate in their hearts.
     
  12. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Sep 18, 2012

    Both my godparents are gay. My mom didn't know when she decided on them (it wouldn't have mattered), so now I have two godmothers and two godfathers! :) So obviously my immediate family is quite progressive and liberal.

    But my grandmother is another story. I went to a predominantly black high school and an HBCU and dated black men exclusively for years. My grandmother would always say things like "why can't you make her like white people?" etc. She was never nasty to me or my friends or boyfriends, but I knew deep down inside she didn't approve. I just pretended to not know. I give old people a pass because they were raised in a different time. I think the difference between this situation and yours is that my grandmother never showed her prejudice. She kept it up inside which was better for everyone.
     
  13. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    Sep 18, 2012

    No one in my family is gay - I think. However, if they were, I can't think of any family members who would reject them. I'm not saying it would thrill everyone, but reject them like that? No.

    Sorry, I don't agree with those that tell you to respect the beliefs of homophobes. If your brother was dating someone of another race and your family rejected that person because of that, then they would be racists, and that wouldn't be okay. It's not okay to be a bigot. I realize that this is your mother and I'm sorry for my frankness. I know it's hard to change ingrained beliefs that one has always been taught are correct, but that doesn't change the fact that she's being cruel. It must be very hard for you.
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Sep 18, 2012

    Oh, no need to apologize!
     
  15. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Sep 18, 2012

    I'm sorry that your family is going through this.

    I've come to accept that some people (mostly of the older generation) simply will never come to terms with tolerance of homosexuals. (Heck, some won't come to terms still with equal rights for black people.)

    My family is the same way. I'm not allowed to see them or visit with my boyfriend ever, and it's a taboo topic if I ever do visit which is rarely.

    It's sad, but you know, as you said, it is your mother's right to have her views, and not attend. I'm certain that with all of the issues in society that your nephew has had to deal with growing up and being gay, he probably won't be that affected by your mother not attending gatherings because he is there.

    You kind of have to deal with it matter-of-factly just as you would with your students I guess. It's her choice to make, and the consequences of that choice are reduced familial contact.

    When she is ready, she may change her mind. Good luck. =]
     
  16. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Sep 19, 2012

    Being one of the older generation I find the 'demand' of acceptance by the new generation as bad as the intolerance practiced by my generation.
    In many cases the "new" life styles is a paradigm shift and as you know a paradigm shift is not a quick change.
    Given time we, the older generation, will accept it or die and be out of the picture.


     
  17. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Sep 19, 2012

    Yes. :thumb:
     
  18. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Sep 19, 2012

    I agree (you can see in my post above I give the "old generation" a pass) but I don't think beliefs should allow you to be nasty towards people. Nothing ever gives anyone the right to be disrespectful and mean to another person. My grandma might not like that I'm not with a white man, but she'd never NEVER say anything. It would only hurt me and my boyfriend's feelings. And there's no reason to do that.
     
  19. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Sep 19, 2012

    I don't think that deciding to not attend a family gathering because of the presence of a gay couple is disrespectful though. As I said, that's perfectly within her rights to make that choice.

    And Irishdave: I agree. I think that many of the younger generation get FAR too offended when someone disagrees with their views. I can understand when they are angry because laws are passed, or money is being donated to organizations that have an active hand in harming gay people or children, but when you end a friendship simply because someone doesn't appreciate the "gay lifestyle" as they would call it, it's going a bit far.
     
  20. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Sep 19, 2012

    I don't think so. People who don't "appreciate the gay lifestyle" (and what exactly is so different from the heterosexual lifestyle? Just the sex?) don't need to be in my life. Just like I wouldn't be friends with a racist.
     
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