There is a new person at my school this year. She is difficult to work with. After some things today, here's what I'd like to say to her: Okay. You win. You clearly know everything about everything. All your ideas are wonderful and perfect. I now know that when you come to me for "advice" or "ideas", what you really want is for me to repeat your ideas; I will not offer suggestions because it makes you angry. When you come to me with problems, I will agree with you and tell you that you are perfect and there is no possible way to resolve your problems; I will not offer suggestions. I don't know how our department managed to survive these past seven years without you. I understand that when you are angry with me, you will stomp away like a child; this is a reasonable reaction from an adult. I also understand that when you are angry with a coworker, you will tattle and request (and receive) a policy change which will result in the extreme inconvenience of everyone in the department; this is also reasonable. You are the greatest teacher ever. Your use of Disney movies in the classroom on a daily basis is ground-breaking. I also appreciate all the delightful hacking and throat-clearing noises you make 20-30 times per class period that I can hear through the walls; my students also appreciate this. It's like sweet, sweet music. Finally, I definitely appreciate how you pulled the fire alarm in your classroom on a cold day "just to see if it worked". You are truly an inspiration. Okay, that might be a little sarcastic. Obviously I won't say these things to my coworker, however much I want to. Do you have anything you really want to say but just can't? Feel free to share it here. No judgment.