Does it Look Bad To Miss Parent's Night?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Migajita, Dec 2, 2017.

  1. Migajita

    Migajita New Member

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    We have parent's night this Thursday. It's from 6:30 to 8:30 at night. I really don't want to go to it for many reasons. I live far away from the school and the school is located in a highly congested area. We get out at 3:00 PM and I don't want to stay in the school for 3 1/2 hours waiting for the parents to arrive. I can go home but then I will have to contend with the stress of the rush hour traffic when I make my way back to the school. I can get a hotel but then I have to pay for the room. Plus I will probably only get 8 parents visiting for the good students. It seems like a total waste of time. I am new in the school and I don't have tenure. I was thinking of taking a sick day or personal day this Thursday. Will this look bad for me if I skip out on this event? I haven't taken any sick or personal days so far this year. I attended the parent's night the last two years. This would be my first year missing it. Please let me know what you think.
     
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  3. a2z

    a2z Phenom

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    Yes. It looks bad. You complain that parents don't show except for the parents of the "good students". So, what will that say to the parents of the good students if you choose not to show. Doesn't that lump you with the parents who are no-shows?

    Bring your dinner and a book. Bring something to entertain you or to accomplish that you might have otherwise done at home. Find something near the school to do for a bit of time. Take a walk even if it is around the school. It is one time a year.
     
  4. rpan

    rpan Comrade

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    Yeah it’s bad look not to show. It’s part of the job even if it’s terribly inconvenient.
     
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  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Dec 2, 2017

    Use the time to catch up on school tasks or get ahead on some planning. Do the work you would normally do on the weekend so that you can give yourself a weekend off. Go out for dinner with some colleagues (just forego the adult beverages). Do some Christmas shopping. Crank up some holiday tunes and craft some decorations for home or for the classroom.

    It's one of those unwritten 'rules' that you attend these evenings.
     
  6. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Comrade

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    Dec 2, 2017

    It would look bad not to attend. I think you should bring dinner or go out for dinner and use the time in between to run errands or catch up on some work.
     
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  7. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Connoisseur

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    You're new to the school trying to build a reputation? Do you want to stay in the school? I find it laughable that you can't find things to do for 3 1/2 hours... I LOVED the days I had free time like that, on early release days for example, when we got classroom time. By the time you chit - chat with your colleagues, maybe grab a bite to eat and get work done, it'll be time to begin. And even if 8 parents DO show up, and you don't, you just wasted THEIR time.
     
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  8. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Phenom

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    Find a way to stay. In 25 years, I've missed two. Once I was a coach with an away match that night. The other time I was in the hospital. In both cases, I had a to make a sign-up sheet available to parents, and then had to contact parents another time to discuss their child's progress. I also had to make up the three hours of time I missed.
     
  9. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Fanatic

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    Yes, it would look really bad. Try to get a lot of work done in the 3 1/2 hour time. Lesson plans--done. Copying--done. Planning--done. I can understand you not liking it. Maybe you can talk to P and see if next year it can be 5:30 to 7pm instead of 6:30-8:30pm.
     
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  10. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Dec 2, 2017

    We have had teachers miss because of an assortment of things. They have planned a separate meeting day for the parents and it wasn't a problem with anyone.
     
  11. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Habitué

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    Stay. It's one evening. Take the opportunity to build a connection with those "good" parents who show up. For the down-time in between, bring dinner, read a book, play online---relax. And you'll still have your sick time for when you really need it. :)
     
  12. heatherberm

    heatherberm Comrade

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    I live an hour away from my school so I also have to hang around for 3ish hours before evening events start and then get home really late. I don't stay for every ball game, concert, even, etc. for this reason, but I always suck it up and stay for at least a few of the most important events or a couple of events that I really enjoy. I would absolutely stay for this. It will look bad if you don't. Go out to eat, maybe with some colleagues if anyone else is around, do some planning, straighten things up, take a book and just relax. One night won't kill you.
     
  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Dec 2, 2017

    And sometimes it's not even unwritten. Teachers in my district have to attend three evening events (TBD by site administration).

    Even if it isn't required, I absolutely agree that it looks terribly bad to skip parent night. The only acceptable reasons include other school-related obligation or severe illness, pretty much.
     
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  14. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Comrade

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    You're nuts to even consider that!!! I would just fill the time with tutoring appointments to make some extra change in between.
     
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  15. svassillion

    svassillion Rookie

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    In my district it is required by our contract that we attend these evenings. We have to commit 2 hours to Curriculum Night and 6 hours to parent-conferences each year. If a teacher has to call out sick one of those days it's not a big deal, but they do have to reschedule and make-up this time.

    I think not going would also effect the way your colleagues view you since they have to attend. I have an hour commute to my school as well so I know what it's like leave home at 6am and not return home until 9:30pm, but I was the one who chose to take a job far from my home so it's not valid excuse to skip and not one my colleagues would be sympathetic to. 3 hours is so easy to fill with prep/dinner/break that it's over before you know it.
     
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  16. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Dec 2, 2017

    Missing is contractual in a vast majority of districts. That said, as a parent, I would have been really pissed if a teacher missed for the reasons you stated. Stay at school for the interim, go home afterward - it's what we do. Any parents that show up deserve having teachers present and accounted for. You're new, not tenured. Miss, and you will likely never be tenured in that district. Admin notices these kinds of things. I would welcome over 3 hours in a semi silent building to work on school stuff. I can guarantee there will be less traffic when the event is over than during the afternoon rush hour.

    Honestly, as a new teacher even considering missing this sounds like you don't want to be in that district of school, because teachers who hope to stay find ways to be seen and appreciated. Just my thoughts . . .
     
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  17. Migajita

    Migajita New Member

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    Thank you so much everyone, for your helpful replies. You all talked sense into to me. :(o_O I will stay. I really appreciate your advice. :dizzy:
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Dec 3, 2017

    It looks VERY BAD not to be there. Your reasons are excuses. Suck it up.
     
  19. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Comrade

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    OMG....

    "I was in intensive care and on a feeding tube. My arms and legs were broken. I had third-degree burns over 80% of my body. But I was expected to provide snacks and musical entertainment for our parent guests, and make up my selfish misuse of contract hours by scrubbing the restroom floors for several weeks thereafter, on my hands and knees. With a toothbrush. Wearing a sandwich sign that read "I am a lazy pig!" While students were encouraged to stop by, kick me, point and laugh."

    I can only pray that everyone (outside the anti-labor lobby) can see the over-the-top, oppressive unfairness in the situations she described. Having to make up time you were in the hospital? That is just sick.

    Amerika loves its teachers.
     
  20. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    [​IMG]

    This is really unfair. If your contract stipulates that you participate in a few after-school activities, then you need to do that. It's the professional thing to do. I don't think it's unfair for schools to expect teachers to make up the time they missed if they were absent from one of those activities of obligation.

    I'm certain that most reasonable administrators would understand missing an event like this due to a very severe injury. Your example here is silly and unrealistic.
     
  21. Mshope2012

    Mshope2012 Companion

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    Dec 3, 2017

    Whoa, I can't even believe you asked this. I can't imagine missing ours though I despise it. I also end up staying at school rather than going home when we have after school activities. There have been times that I have been in school from 6 am to 10:30 pm. Of course, most people have kids, dogs, families, etc. where they can't do this. They just end up having to run home, feeding kids/dogs, rushing back and trying in vain to find a half decent parking spot.

    I have made my classroom my home away from home. I keep extra clothes, shoes, toothbrush, make up, food, and deodorant in my closet. I cannot tell you how many times that stuff has come in handy.

    I really think you need to tough it out and save missing it for a true emergency. I have never heard any teacher at my school expressing anything positive about the night, yet we must do it every year. Oh, also, ours is in our contract.
     

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