Do your students ever hurt your feelings?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by LittleShakespeare, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    Apr 3, 2018

    Thanks so much, everybody. I appreciate all your insight. :heart:
     
  2. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Yes, if I was going to be busy all day with no chance to go to the fridge for a little sugar, no way to drive to the store, engaged in something like teaching, where I can "pamper" myself for a couple of minutes by sucking on hard candy. Let's be perfectly clear - I don't sit on my couch eating candy, but I will use JR while I am busy and not able to have something better to eat. That kind of defines teaching, and therefore the presence of the students, don't you think? :cool:
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018
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  3. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Apr 3, 2018

    And you have misinterpreted me. I simply stated that you really can't get your feelings hurt unless you are expecting a different outcome than what you received. Understanding how our students will respond is something that we should be aware of, as their teachers. I don't love, but do really like my students. In NJ, the laws about treats have shut down parties with treats, student snacks, etc. What students want, and what we can offer without crossing boundaries will never be in sync. Having seen a student react to another student's snack, that contained something that he was allergic to, I always feel that I should keep it as simple as possible, in case I am going to share. I don't have the same concern when sharing with staff - they will ask if there are nuts, chocolate, etc. before starting the feeding frenzy.

    My JR's are not going to be anything to write home about, but they are not so tempting that someone is likely to take one if they are allergic to the food dye, for instance. I understand that. Hurt my feelings? Sure, when they stole money from me or wrecked my room - I am the one that has to put everything right again. Treats, however, are not something that they could hurt my feelings over - guess that is just me. I have not insinuated you are egotistical - I did state that some teacher lavish treats on students with the express intention of feeding their own need for praise. If that's not you, no worry. I worked with someone who was that insecure, and witnessed the "need" for gratitude for the "treats that were given." They came with the expectation of lavish thanks and appreciation. When that didn't materialize, this teacher had "hurt feelings." I am a teacher to my students, not a mother replacement. My JR's are about me honoring what I was taught as a child - have enough to share, or don't eat in front of others.
     
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  4. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    You're quite...compassionate? I guess? Some people aren't like you: strong willed 24/7 and emotionless. And to be honest, I really didn't need to hear your spiel on "getting over it." I simply asked if anyone experienced this before. Perhaps you should read the question more thoroughly and understand what's being asked instead of offering unsolicited advice.
     
  5. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Apr 3, 2018

    Yes.
     
  6. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    Fantastic.
     
  7. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Apr 3, 2018

    I work with needy students. You have made a harsh judgement by calling me emotionless and without compassion. However, I will assure you that you have not hurt my feelings.

    It's an open thread, and any of us can respond based on our own experiences. That is what I have done.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018
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  8. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    THANK YOU! Seriously! It's kind of aggravating how some people want to play Dr. Phil.
     
  9. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    Sure, you may offer your experiences, but you also unnecessarily give me psychological advice about your needy coworker and how I have to "get over it" and stop seeking affirmation. You don't even know me, so it's a bit offensive how you come off.
     
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  10. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    As you just stated, I don't know you. I am allowed opinions.
     
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  11. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    Perhaps we should end the thread here. Thanks for all your feedback, everybody.
     
  12. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    A third grader got mad at me today and asked if he could "body slam me.'' When I said, "Um no you cannot,'' he said, "I really want to.'' He was mad because I moved his cousin to the end of the line as he was goofing off but the kid said "Why did you move him? He was my cousin. He was just trying to give me a hug.'' Yeah OK. It was the end of the day and we were walking to the buses... I was so over it.

    Good times!
    :rofl:
     
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  13. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Companion

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    Kudos to you for working with the little ones. :heart:
     
  14. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Thanks, truthfully I don't even consider 3rd graders to be the "little ones.'' My heart really goes out to the Pre k -2/ early childhood teachers. No way in Hell could I do that all day!
    :):heart:
     
  15. miss-m

    miss-m Habitué

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    I mean... at least he asked if he could body slam you instead of just doing it?
     
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  16. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    "Progress''? :D
     
  17. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    If a 3rd grader could body slam me, I'd offer the lad extra credit, or at least a free cake.
     
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  18. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    According to him, he is a wrestler.
     
  19. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Apr 6, 2018

    Here are my suggestions and rules:
    1. you cannot let a teenager get you upset or sad. You can't let them alter your emotional state, you don't wanna go home and think about the horrible things they sad and did and be sad. Trust me, they don't go home and think about what they sad to you.
    2. I don't bring in snacks. Ever. Exactly for this reason for every 2 appreciative kid there will be one who won't appreciate or won't know how to express gratitude and will say something real mean.
    3. we have a teacher who goes above and beyond by doing nice things for the kids. I was thinking "I should do things like her" but I won't. You know why? Because the kids will still be mean to her, or say disrespectful things, etc. They might feel appreciative in the moment, but it won't alter their attitude towards her.
    4. My ids don't like me any less because I don't bring in snacks for them. Sometime they mention what other teachers do and why don't I do it, and I smile and say "sorry" and then we move in with the curriculum.

    Don't take it so personally. Stop bringing them anything and just teach. That's all you need to do and I'm not being selfish about this.
    But if you do decide to bring them snacks and they say something mean, you can take that chance and educate them about manners, and gratitude. Just say " you know you should maybe just appreciate what I have brought you. I don't have to do this, but I spent my own money to try to do something nice for you. Maybe you could say thank you. Or just don't say anything, including anything ungrateful"
     
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  20. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    Apr 6, 2018

    Where I taught, teachers would probably wonder if that candy from students was ever tainted with poison!
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2018

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