Crying in Kindergarten

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by TiffanyL, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Sep 14, 2009

    Okay, teachers, I need your help.

    We have a K student who was fine the first 2 days of school. Beginning on day 3, he began to cry for his mom. We are now at day 5.

    K teacher has a full time aide and both of them send him up to the office as soon if he is crying.

    What are some good interventions you have tried for students who have a hard time adjusting? I only taught K for one year so my experience is limited.

    His mom wants him to stay in school because, thankfully, she believes he will not adjust if he comes for him early. By the way, we are a full day program so it is a long day for the little fella.
     
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  3. fun2tchk

    fun2tchk Rookie

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    Sep 14, 2009

    Sometimes just being able to hold a picture of their mom or family can help.
     
  4. Whitchel

    Whitchel Rookie

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    I teach preschool, and I had a little guy who cried for his mom when she dropped him off, if he came on the bus he was great...but the last time he cried...I showed him the schedule with pictures and after he saw that, he hasn't cried since.
     
  5. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    I usually have this happen nearly every year with one of my students. The best thing I can suggest is to ignore it. If the teacher acts like it is no big deal, the child isn't getting reinforced for the behavior.

    I would not send the child out of the room. I know it can really be disruptive and nerve shattering, but it WILL stop. Sending him to the office is too much of a reinforcement again of the behavior you want to stop. As long as he isn't banging his head or hurting himself, crying will not do him any harm.

    After it has happened twice, or I see it may becoming a habit, I always tell the child, "Oh no, you are a big boy/girl now. This is your job. Mommy and daddy have their job to do too, and when your day is done they will be here to get you. Now when you are ready to do your job, I'd love for you to join us."
    I only give that speech once or maybe twice, after that I just say, "no, I'm not going to hear that today. It needs to stop." Then I go on with my day ignoring the crying as much as possible. The child would sit at their table until they have stopped.

    Also, I tell the parent this is what I'm doing and not to worry. Their child will be fine. It has always worked.
     
  6. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    I agree with kinderkids 100%.
     
  7. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Thank you so much, ladies. I will offer these suggestions to them. This was a great tool for me to start offering intervention ideas.

    Keep em' coming!
     
  8. TeacherGrl7

    TeacherGrl7 Devotee

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    A schedule for the child to cross things off of, with a small picture of Mom at the bottom, has always worked wonders for me. Eventually I "forget" to make the schedule, and just give the picture, and eventually the picture gets stuck to a cabinet where it can be looked at if necessary, or lost LoL, or simply not needed. After a few days of just the picture and no schedule, if the child seems okay, I will put the picture away and only bring it out if the child asks me about it in the morning. After a while, they just stop asking.
     
  9. TeacherC

    TeacherC Connoisseur

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    I agree with the others, I think sending the little boy to the office isn't going to help him at all.
    I had a little girl last year who cried everyday and I let her draw a picture for her mom when she got upset; then she was fine. I would have mom send in a picture of the family he could carry with him, and ignore it as much as possible!
     
  10. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    It reminded me of a t-shirt I once saw - "There's no crying in Kindergarten!!!!".

    Maybe a stuffed animal that they can hold when they come in the room, but only if they are not crying-the stuffed animal doesn't like to hear them cry.
     
  11. steph r

    steph r New Member

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    I have another question on the same topic: crying. I have a student who is a HUGE cryer. He cries when he's in trouble, when he wants to go home, and sometimes for no reason whatsoever. He does NOT cry himself out. The first time he started crying in the classroom, I tried to let him just get it out of his system, but his crying escalated to the point that, after about 15 minutes of crying, I could not continue teaching (and neither could the other teachers within earshot) until I was able to get someone to remove him from the classroom. He won't listen to a word I say during these tantrums. He won't tell me what he needs to stop crying. His tantrums start extremely suddenly, and I could probably avoid them, but he's such a behavior problem anyways that I'm frequently giving him redirection, which sometimes triggers these fits. I've spoken to his mother about the issue, and she said he had the same problem in pre-k and they couldn't ever figure out anything to do about it. She said he even does it at home, and they are at a loss as to what to do. Please help!
     
  12. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Sep 14, 2009

    Thanks everyone,

    Okay I've suggested the following interventions to her:

    1. Create a laminated picture schedule that can be crossed off daily with vis a vis marker and includes a pic of mom at the end.

    2. Allow him to hold a pic of mom.

    3. Validate his feelings (he is a very normal 5 year old, btw!)

    4. Allow him to hold a stuffed animal as long as he doesn't cry (because "bear" doesn't like to hear him cry, etc.).

    I LOVE IT! Thank you so much, everyone. These ideas were awesome and I'm sure she will feel like she can help now.

    Thanks,

    Tiffanyl
     
  13. Mommateach

    Mommateach Rookie

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    My son was like that in kindergarten. He cried on and off through out the whole year though. At the beginning of the year the K teacher thought that it was because he missed Mommy...that was part of it, but not all of it. The teacher ended up telling my son to go to his calm down spot in a certain area of the room until he could calm himself down and come back to the rest of the class. The teacher said he needed to use his words and let her know what was going on with him before he started crying. Sometimes he was really good about that and other times he just broke down sobbing.
    My son sometimes would cry because he was frustrated with the work and didn't know how to do some of his kindergarten work. Sometimes he cried because another kid took his assigned spot on the carpet and the teacher yelled at him for being next to his spot and not on it. Other times he cried because another kid took his snack, called him cry baby, stupid and because a kid put down his work and told him he was doing it wrong. One day he cried because he was deeply disturbed about a news story a girl was sharing with the class (about a close child abduction a few blocks away from our house). Another time he cried because another child threatened to kill him on the playground. I was told he had a rough day because there was a substitute and he missed Mommy when it really was because of a threat. Sometimes he truly did cry because he missed me. One day my son told me he had a crying day on account of the teacher yelling at the whole class telling them that they all made her really mad that day. He said he cried and apologized to her and didn't mean to make her mad. Usually my son would have a really bad crying day 2 days before he became ill. He was and still is to some extent a sensitive and anxious type of kid.
    The calm down spot seemed to help him though.
     
  14. JBteach

    JBteach Companion

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    Sep 16, 2009

    I usually have the child bring a stuffed animal, pic and even a special rock that they keep in their pocket. Also, I will send the child to the bathroom to wash their face and get a drink. This usually helps them to calm down.
     
  15. SpecSub

    SpecSub Comrade

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    He may be learning that crying gets him out of class and he's using it to his advantage. During instruction, if a child is crying the teachers may tell them to stop, and if they don't, have them sit at a table where they can still see and hear (and be seen) but not disturb others.
     
  16. Rainbows23

    Rainbows23 Rookie

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    Sep 18, 2009

    sometimes you have to be a little tough. Not mean, but I have a child who comes in every morning like this. I always say I am happy to see you, get a tissue, and unpack, no more tears today. And she stops. She does not stop if she is fused over. Then no tears the rest of the day.
     
  17. LvToyFoxTerrier

    LvToyFoxTerrier Rookie

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    Sep 18, 2009

    I always thought this worked but just this week I had a child that was totally fine UNTIL he saw a picture of his parents in my classroom. Then he started crying and could not stop for 45 minutes. :(
     

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