Colleagues

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by czacza, Oct 12, 2012.

  1. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Oct 13, 2012

    At my current school I am friendly with all but one or two and that is because of the way they treat/talk about their students. I was so glad when our speech person retired because she literally saw the kids about one-fourth of their scheduled sessions.

    I am very close friends with two teachers from my first school.
     
  2. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    Oct 13, 2012

    I respect my colleagues, get a long with most. I consider some friends. I get a long great with my grade level team. There are a few I don't socialize or talk to at all but it's them not because I haven't made an effort. Life is too short for me to be worried about those colleagues.
     
  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oct 13, 2012

    My post was prompted by some reflection on a relationship I have with a colleague.I moved grade levels a few years ago. On my former team, I was friends with a younger colleague...we ate lunch together every day, wrote grants, planned and took classes together. I felt we both gave and got from the partnership. Since moving grade levels, I can see it wasnt such a balanced relationship. We've been at a few PD meetings together where she texts or IMs or shops online and then wants to 'share' what others have created, worked on and generated. She took credit in the spring for something I had created and shared it as her own with the Superintendant. A friend from another school called me this week and complained to me that this person was on her to share a writing unit she had created in her school...without offering anything in return and not having talked to this friend in a year. It's disappointing, but I can see more clearly now what our previous relationship really was.

    That said, I enjoy working where I do. I respect most of the people with whom I work and I enjoy cordial relationships with all. A few are my good friends on whom I can count at any time, and vice versa.
     
  4. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    Oct 13, 2012

    I am pleasant to everyone, but where my room is located, i can literally go days seeing next to no one. I never go to the teachers lounge, I never make copies unless it is 7 Am when no one is there. I spend time eating lunch with a couple of people on my grade level - but then I like to get to my room and get prepared to teach. When I was younger, I thought that more teachers who I work with were my friends, but then got the ass burning of a lifetime, and now, have no use for most people that I work with. Working with women, it is tricky, because there are so many bitter back stabbing bi----s. Now our school has so many young teachers who seem to have a nice friendship going, but I am not involved in that at all.
     
  5. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    Oct 14, 2012

    I am friendly with almost everyone at my school. I only have a few people I would call my friend (2 teachers, a couple of secretaries, and the librarian) because I think a friend is someone you would choose to hang out with outside of work.

    I know that everyone differs in the amount of dedication they put into their job. There are a few people that I lost respect for in terms of their job, but not as a person. I'm not sure if that makes sense but I feel like they do the minimum, and it bothers me. As a person they are great, generous, funny, and nice. I try to separate the two views, some days that's easier than others.
     
  6. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    Oct 14, 2012

    I'm a very guarded person, and TBH I don't have anyone other than my sister to hang out with. I made the vow at the beginning of the year to start eating in the teachers' lounge, and I think that's happened maybe three or four times. I'd just rather stay in my room and work. I go around the office instead of through the teachers' lounge if I have to make copies in the morning. It's not that I don't like them. It just feels weird walking through a sea of teachers who are laughing and talking when they are telling me to have a seat, etc. Then, I feel rude because I'm there to make copies, so I say that, nicely, and then it's just awkward. There are only a couple of people I work with who I don't really like, for lack of a better phrase. I mean I'm cordial and everything, I just don't care to talk to them for an extended amount of time.

    So, in short, I don't have anyone I work with who I would consider my "friend" because I think of a friend as someone you would go to lunch with, etc. And, I don't like everyone knowing my business. Only my P and one other teacher know that I have epilepsy, only one other teacher knows I was home schooled, and nobody knows that I was raised in a "cultish" religion.

    Beth
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 14, 2012

    All of these words fit me to a "T"! Telling myself I should eat in the lounge sometimes is much easier said than done for me. Plus, with my being the speech-language pathologist at the school, teachers tend to want to only talk about how their little Timmy doesn't speak much in class or it's hard to understand him & how they'll bring him up for the next COST/SST meeting. No fun conversation or them wanting to get to know me as a person.

    Now, I haven't eaten in the lounge yet for them to do that, but I know they will if I start eating in there. I hear other SLPs mention that they do that to them.
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oct 14, 2012

    I had great work friends at my former school. The best! In my new school I'm in a pretty isolated position and location. No friends yet. :)
     
  9. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Oct 14, 2012

    At the beginning of the year I decided to eat in the Lounge. It has helped me to build relationships with my fellow teachers. I don't do it every day, but I try to get there 3-4 times a week.
     
  10. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Oct 14, 2012

    I always eat in the lounge unless I'm completely swamped with work. I've heard that some lounges can be very negative, but ours is positive and fun.
     
  11. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Oct 14, 2012

    I've taught at three sites in eight years. There are about 6-7 teachers I've met who I'm certain will be lifelong friends of mine. I attended college with two teachers in my district and they're both my closest friends!!!
     
  12. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Oct 14, 2012

    In my district, the SLPs work at three sites. Therefore, if I see them in the lounge eating lunch, that's the time I'll approach them about a student. I wish there were other times I could make contact with them, but they're hard to reach because they're rarely on campus.

    In the good ol' days, we had a full-time SLP at each site! I miss that! :(
     
  13. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 14, 2012

    Yeah but, no one wants to talk about business when they're sitting there eating their lunch. People need to submit the paperwork or email people.
     
  14. waterfall

    waterfall Maven

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    Oct 14, 2012

    I was great friends with the SLP at my last school, and several of the gen ed teachers were too. She always went to happy hour with us (sometimes she was the one to suggest going) so that helped, even though she was only at our school two days a week. I went to her wedding this summer and it was mostly school friends there (from all 3 schools she worked at) with a few of her friends from college. I was always kind of jealous that she got to be in different schools, b/c she got to meet so many people! That was a really small town so it was really hard to meet people outside of work, and most people really only socialized through work. I had a good group to hang out with, but wished I could have had an outlet to meet others like she did.
     
  15. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Oct 14, 2012

    If you feel this way, politely tell people. They will understand. Some teachers talk shop at lunch to problem-solve or vent or get stuff done. Others don't want to. To each his own. It shouldn't be a reason to avoid talking to people.

    Our principal eats lunch in the teacher's lounge on a regular basis and she will tell you whether she is in the mood to talk shop or not. Sometimes she wants to unwind, sometimes she comes because wants to talk about something.
     
  16. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 15, 2012

    Regarding being at 2 different schools a week, some will say is a good thing or a bad thing. I just go with the flow since it's not the main goal for me to make friend at work. If it happens, fine.
     
  17. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Oct 15, 2012

    I've cut down on the number of times that I eat in the teacher lounge. Our lunch schedules were changed and some of the people eating lunch at the time I am take the fun out of eating in the lounge. I eat in the lounge 2 days/week.
     
  18. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Oct 15, 2012

    Unfortunately, Ms. I, there are lots of things that are too lengthy to discuss via email. For example, our SLP wanted to go over some test results of a student that she screened today. She came to my classroom during lunch and I didn't mind a bit.

    Maybe it also depends on the relationship that support staff members (counselors, psychologists, SLPs, etc) have with teachers. At my site, our SLP is super friendly and helpful, so no one minds chatting with her during breaks or lunch because we know she's giving our kids excellent services.
     
  19. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 15, 2012

    YoungTeacherGuy, that's great that it all works out at your school. It' works out well at my schools too. I'm on year 2 on the job & never really conversed with anyone unless it was at some kind of mtg. We have a system that works great: Teachers submit a concern form, then it's soon brought up at a COST mtg, then an SST mtg is scheduled. Then an assessment plan is signed. The testing takes place & the initial mtg is scheduled if they qualify for speech services. I actually don't really get emails directly from the teachers about concerns.

    I know the school psychs don't want to be seen too much because they don't want to be bombarded with all these concerns from people. There's the proper channels if people have concerns, but I realize people like it when people have that "open door" policy.
     
  20. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oct 15, 2012

    Submitting paperwork, writing referrals, providing documentation can be a lot of work. Definitely worth it if I can get my kiddos some help. But sometimes it's beneficial to have that personal relationship with the 'specialists' in the building so their advice can be sought informally, their brains picked a bit before launching into a full scale referral. I respect their expertise and experience as they respect mine....but it's not'shop talk' all the time either...because we've put some time into developing a collegial working relationship.:cool:
     

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