Can I keep them?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Sandra Corral, Apr 10, 2018.

  1. Sandra Corral

    Sandra Corral New Member

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    Apr 10, 2018

    I am just starting my teaching experience. I have always wanted to teach Kindergarten, I love the littles. I am currently in a 6th grade classroom and I have loved getting to know these students. They are another world and they taught me so much about their age group. As the year is coming to an end and I must say good-bye to them soon I can't help but feel sad. Like the feeling of a loss. Don't get me wrong I love to think about who they are going to become and I look forward to all their futures, but I feel sad to watch them grow up and move on. How do you guys deal with this year after year?
     
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  3. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    Apr 10, 2018

    I am in the same boat. I am moving home for graduate school. After subbing throughout the county working in kindergarten and my aide job. I have grown to love my kids. Realizing in a month I am leaving and it will be a struggle to drive four hours to visit makes me sad.
     
  4. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Apr 10, 2018

    I think of the naughty ones.

    The trouble is... about 75% of the time the stinkers are my favorites.
     
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  5. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Apr 10, 2018

    It gets easier.
     
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  6. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Apr 10, 2018

    The next group of students (I loved the poster / author who referred to his charges as "sprouts") will be a whole new set of adventures. They won't replace the ones you have loved, but they'll get to your heart all the same.
     
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  7. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    Apr 11, 2018

    I'm usually too relieved to reach summer vacation to feel sad. I feel it a little on the first day back in the fall when those kids I spent many hours devoting my life to are no longer thinking of me as their teacher, but I also love watching them grow and mature. I get them in kindergarten so I really do feel like I'm planting seeds and watching the garden grow. I'm thankful I get to watch them for several years before they change schools.
     
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  8. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 12, 2018

    I forgot the term, but I have a friend who followed her kids from 3-5th gr. Same room, same kids, curriculum & materials were only changes.

    Looping???
     
  9. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Apr 14, 2018

    It can be tough to say goodbye, but you do it every year. Some years I cry, others I don't. Just focus on the fact that you had a chance to be part of their journey, and that will be true forever.
     
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  10. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 14, 2018

    I think this may piggy-back on our poster who has Pre-K kids..unfortunately, who are a having a hard time.

    Misha says,

    "I also have a coworker who visits one of my students twice a day because he is her all time favorite and it is disruptive to my day and has made correcting behavior problems with this student difficult, extremely difficult."

    Can it be possible that some of us love our kids too much, and we are reluctant to let them go? If you are in the same building, and you 'visit' them too often, are you hindering them, and their teacher??
     
  11. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Apr 15, 2018

    After my second year of teaching:
    [​IMG]
     
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  12. TeacherWhoRuns

    TeacherWhoRuns Companion

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    Apr 15, 2018

    I had a group of kids last year who I really enjoyed and was sorry to see go.
    Then at the beginning of this year, I got moved to the next grade level and got several of them again. Some of them are still sweet. Some of them with behavioral issues have just gotten magnified as they've grown - parents still don't do anything. One has turned from manageable if I kept my foot on last year to a complete snot this year.
    Lesson learned! I'll be happy to say goodbye each year!
     
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  13. kellzy

    kellzy Comrade

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    Apr 15, 2018

    My group last year I adored. Favorite group I've ever had.
    This year? Least favorite group ever.
    My theme for this year: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
     
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  14. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 16, 2018

    We have a lot of graduates (I mean 9 and 10 year-olds) who come back to visit. I know it's lovely for the other teachers, but I don't know these kids. To me, honestly...it's an interruption. They come in, say hi, get hugs, and start talking about their school, parents, siblings, etc. Okay, that means for the next 10-15 minutes or so, I'm kinda by myself now.
     
  15. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    Apr 19, 2018

    I know many people hate to look outside the bubble, but for what it's worth here goes. I've studied how teachers interact with their students and have observed in classrooms in some other countries. What impressed me the most was not only how well-behaved the students were, but also the generally business-like manner of the teachers. As I sat and observed in one 4th grade math class, I imagined that the students could well have been college students - there was distinct absence of maternal "pampering" (for lack of a better word) in the teacher's actions and words (e.g. darling, honey, sweetheart, cutie pie, pumpkin). Remarkably, the students responded in kind.

    IMO, it may actually detract from the primary goal of instruction if teachers allow their maternal /paternal instincts to influence the way they behave in the classroom. New teachers like the OP seem to be all too willing to adopt the practice of being overly-solicitous and overly-protective. Some teachers in this forum have even reported becoming so emotionally attached to their charges that they have difficulty not thinking about their pupils 24/7. I dare say that having such excessive love for one's pupils - to the point of grieving with a sense of sadness and loss when they are promoted to the next grade level - may be unhealthy and may not be in the students' best academic interest. What some may consider to be normal here, may be viewed as abnormal elsewhere. Something to think about, or not.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
  16. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 19, 2018

    Well said Been There....well said.:agreed:

    This is why we have spoiled preschoolers who want special treatment, and parents who think we are babysitters. Because former teachers are still hugging and slobbering over them, while we try to get them to be quiet and sit down. Teacher’s pets grow up to be butt kissers, always seeking approval and attention, IMO. All children should be able to learn without favoritism. We are all special, not just the ‘cute’ ones. Teachers should keep a professional distance, and not display the same affection and attention one reserves for close friends & family. These children may feel betrayed when you give them failing grades, because they trusted you to love them.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
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  17. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Apr 19, 2018

    While I do think that it's okay to do a little bit of the "pampering" you mention and don't think that classrooms need to be sterile and business-like, I do strongly agree with the second part of your comment. I've worked with a couple of people and seen posts here from people who seem to have an unhealthy focus on their students.
     
  18. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    Apr 19, 2018

    Unfortunately, from my observations, few teachers who engage in "pampering behavior" seem to have difficulty knowing where to draw the line. IMO, the absence of hugs, terms of endearment, jokes, etc. didn't appear to produce a sterile learning environment at all. On the contrary, students exhibited full-on engagement with a common sense of purpose resulting in high academic achievement. For an eye-opening experience, I highly recommend school visits to anyone who travels overseas!
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
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  19. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Apr 19, 2018

    Truthfully, I don't understand the concept of missing kids so intently. Like I said, I certainly have the ones I really like (and one former student has become a good neighbor and we have our neighborly neighborliness) but I don't miss them. I'm not particurly cutesy with them, either. I do like to be warm and caring, but I do I think I learn more toward the business-like approach.
     
  20. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    Apr 19, 2018

    I get it, but don't condone it. Just like young puppies, young children are often prone to showing unconditional love to those who shower them with rewards whether they be points, treats, hugs or frequent praise in the form of "Good job" throughout the day. Some of my former colleagues seemed to thrive on the loving relationships that they developed with some of their kiddos - I could be wrong, in which case they probably could have done without. For some reason, it just doesn't seem appropriate to me - probably because I attended school at a time when extrinsic rewards and close student-teacher relationships were not the norm, but it got us to the moon!
     
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  21. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 19, 2018

    Yep...gold stars were not given out for everything you did, back in the day.

    I had a Head Start class and we held a monthly celebration. I was told to review my class roster and give out awards for perfect attendance. At the end of the program, some kids were sad, and parents looked confused. I got pulled to the side.

    “Ms. Master Pre-K, you did not give awards to all your children?”

    “They didn’t have PERFECT attendance.”

    “You are supposed to give everyone something.”

    o_O
     

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