Being Cussed at By a Student

Discussion in 'General Education' started by anon55, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. anon55

    anon55 Comrade

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    Mar 20, 2017 at 9:27 PM

    Holy crap!!! Well, at least I'm not the only one and this takes things up a notch
     
  2. anon55

    anon55 Comrade

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    Mar 20, 2017 at 9:28 PM

    You're incredible! a total badass and I love it!
     
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  3. anon55

    anon55 Comrade

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    Mar 20, 2017 at 9:34 PM

    Thanks everyone for all your kind comments and truthful words! I totally forgot about this over the weekend and am now over it. I now have a new drama on my mind. On the train yesterday, a group of rowdy teens went nuts and threw a plastic bottle at me and called me a "f*king f*ggot" (I blocked the bottle). I'm pretty much over that too, but it's really sad what things are degenerating to in our society!
     
  4. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Mar 20, 2017 at 10:38 PM

    Thank you :)

    Sometimes I think I might get punched one day, but with this new crowd at this new school I had to establish my authority. I at least one these kids to know that I'm not afraid. And I' not really not. It's funny when I say (on occasion) "do you wanna fight? is that what you want? because you sound very aggressive right now, so if I were you, I'd take it down a notch". It has also diffused some tense moments when two kids were exchanging words and it felt like it was building up t something.
    So then I said " are you guys gonna fight?" (on one asks in that situation, in fear of escalation) then I say: "hang on. Let me get my radio first". It really lightens the mood, and no one will fight after the teacher says go and fight.
     
  5. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Companion

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 6:11 AM

    Ugh! Classic!

    If kids are raised well, spanking becomes unnecessary at a very early age. Unfortunately, the vast majority of our kids are not being raised at all.

    I support anything that has the chance to turn a kid around and prevent prison or violent death in the streets.
     
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  6. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 7:01 AM

    After making a copy, I'd hand that note back to the brat with red pen correction marks.
     
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  7. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 7:02 AM

    Didn't you get the memo that teachers are supposed to clothe, feed, and raise kids now? The parents just pop them out and their job is done.
     
  8. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 10:09 AM

    Ding ding ding. This is a SIXTH grader....but he operates more at a 1st grade level. (IEP) He can't read and write. His home is a mess. This is very frustrating to him. In better years I'd spend hours working with him after school, finding his family resources, and researching just right interventions. This year I refuse to give 20 hours a day to my job, and I guess it shows. I go back and forth between not caring and being completely distraught over not reaching this child in any way. It is likely I will have him again next year, so I will need to be thoughtful this summer over what will become of him in 7th grade. I feel a little "You can lead a horse to water..." at this point. He engages with literally nothing. I have tried art, games, music, peer tutoring, etc. He just doesn't Do School.
     
  9. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Companion

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 10:14 AM

    We joke, but how long before that is actually the case, that the state has to come in and raise children from birth onward?

    You read of such a condition in science fiction stories, but—seriously—what happens to this nation when the vast majority are growing up feral? Do our legislators think it unimportant, because these conditions exist for only poor people, or only for other people's children?
     
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  10. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Companion

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 10:17 AM

    And some wonder why our prisons are so crowded? Uh....It's how these kids will end up!

    Maybe legislators could do something smarter than blame teachers and buy more standardized tests from their campaign backers?
     
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  11. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 10:21 AM

    I'd spend that money on quality food services, social workers, mentoring programs, tutoring, and healthcare for families. I just don't see how anything's going to go right for this boy if we don't get him out of his home environment. And I don't mean that mom doesn't love him...I genuinely think she does. She's just burdened with poverty and doesn't know how to manage him, either. It's all very sad.

    My annoyance is genuinely not with him. I'm 50% frustrated that I don't know what to do, and 50% frustrated that I'm somehow still expected to MAKE IT ALL GO in school with no additionally resources.
     
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  12. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 11:30 AM

    I teach in a geographic region where teenage pregnancy is rampant. I'm in the Central Valley, where you have migrant field workers (traditionally need as many kids as possible to whelp on the fields) + they're Mixicans / Mexican Americans, which means they're Roman Catholic (no birth control). This mentality trickled down from generation to generation, and even though most of them do not work on the fields they are still not educated on using birth control. I talk about this with my students openly, especially when we read a book fro Gary Soto which dealt with issues from here, I explained this mentality, what is wrong with it and how to change it. Simple: condoms.

    The point I'm getting to is we have kids who are victims of bad parenting. They're either raising themselves or are seeing horrible role models: gangs, crimes, no value for education, settling for the bare minimum and no aspiration, girls using their bodies to get things, etc.
    And then these kids are having babies at age 15-18. They're not ready!! We have several male students who are fathers or are going to be. We often have girls who are either pregnant or already had babies (we have an independent study component at our school where students only come in once a week, and it's often because they have a baby).
    These kids are not ready for society: how are they going to get a job, keep a job and pay for expenses and how are they going to raise these kids and be role models when they themselves are anything but role models.

    So we have kids who don't know how to express themselves, they use a cussword for everything (expressing frustration, not just hate, but also joy) and they're going to be raising kids to be even worse.

    The only thing that can be done is educate them that they must be able to switch off from their every day language use in a classroom, because they'll need to do that in a job setting to keep a job. They also need to show a minimum of respect to everyone, not because of others, but because that shows they have respect for themselves. People are human beings, so if they're mad at a teacher, they can't just cuss them out, that teacher is likely a mother, father grandma, etc. How would they feel if someone talked to their mother like that? (make it personal). And, very important, do hold them accountable and issue appropriate consequences.
    That's all we can do.

    This whole "you have to earn respect to get respect" is only true to a certain extent in my opinion. Yes, I have to earn their respect so that they actually value and respect my opinion, what I think of them, etc. But common decency, a basic respect such as not cussing at someone should be a given. And we will teach them as long as they're in our classroom.
     
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  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 11:39 AM

    I feel like you might be wandering into some sketchy territory here. First, a lot of Catholics, perhaps even most, do use birth control. Second, I would advise you to reconsider telling students that their religious beliefs are wrong. If I were one of those kids' parents, I certainly would be very uncomfortable hearing that a teacher was critical of my family's religious beliefs and practices.
     
  14. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Companion

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 12:01 PM

    You did the right thing! I once had a 5 year old to call me a motherf*cker and I told the child very sternly to not use words like that at me and that it was rude!. I then call the mom and that is when I discovered that the child had to get this horrible language at such a young age from the parent.

    You wrote him up and now let the office deal with it.
     
  15. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Companion

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 12:06 PM

    I honestly believe that a lot of kids today have issues that are not diagnose due to their socioeconomic background. Children living in economically disadvantaged households tend to have various social disabilities that goes under the radar for a long time. Children acting up in school is not only linked to poor parenting but also their environment. Maybe the kid is comfortable with speaking to adults that way because no one never taught him better.
     
  16. TeacherCuriousExplore

    TeacherCuriousExplore Companion

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 12:10 PM

    :openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth::openmouth:
    Judging by the handwriting the child must be in the 1st grade! If I ever caught my kid doing this I would spank their behinds
     
  17. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 12:49 PM

    Maybe I didn't go into enough details. I'm not judging my students and their religious beliefs, I do let them know however, that in the past, as farmworkers, families needed to have their kids' help, times have changed. We talk about how expensive it is to raise a child and how much sacrifice it really means, and if you are a teenager, still trying to graduate high school, get a job, and just be a teenager, it's even harder.
    I don't tell them that their religious beliefs are wrong. I just tell them that maybe the current situation stems from those things, but they don't have to follow how things were 50-80 years ago.
     
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  18. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 1:20 PM

    I was mostly responding to the part where you said that you explained to them what was "wrong" with their "mentality". You also specifically mentioned condoms. Catholics who choose not to use birth control aren't just trying to beef up their farm families. There's a lot more to it than that. I'm just afraid that you may have offended your students and their families, however unintentional it may have been.
     
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  19. Backroads

    Backroads Connoisseur

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 1:25 PM

    I remember, years ago now, a letter to the editor in our paper coming from a parent who was for all intents and purposes basically asking teachers to raise her kids for her, speaking of all the energy she was putting into bringing in a paycheck and furthering her career as an example to her kids, saying how she just didn't have time after that to teach them the morals. She spoke of how grateful she was to the teachers and school staff who did put that time, energy, and love to her children. But at the end of the letter, it was pretty much "I don't want to raise them."
     
  20. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Mar 21, 2017 at 1:33 PM

    You are right about everything you're saying. But I do believe it is wrong for teenagers to have unprotected sex and have babies at age 16. And they should use birth control.
     

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