Being Cussed at By a Student

Discussion in 'General Education' started by anon55, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. anon55

    anon55 Comrade

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    Mar 17, 2017

    Out of the blue, a kid who is not even my student said f**k you to me. I think it's because they felt I treated their friend unfairly? If it's relevant, I teach 7th and 8th grade.

    I'm wondering, what would others do in this situation? I wrote a referral and called security to send the kid to the office.

    Also, I'm partially posting this to know if I'm the only one this happened to. I can deal with a lot, but I have to admit, this really got to me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2017
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  3. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    Mar 18, 2017

    At my school this would result in an office referral and probably an in-school suspension during the period it had occured in for 2 days.
     
  4. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Companion

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    Mar 18, 2017

    This is happening to many of us throughout the country. You are NOT alone.

    Worse, this is the reality of which our public is blissfully ignorant. Teachers are the scapegoat of choice for all issues in education, and it would be contrary to a carefully constructed national narrative to suggest that any problems were not created by teachers.

    We are seeing the effects of runaway social decay. The root causes are crime, drugs, neglect, abuse, poverty, a cultural shifting away from community and toward hedonistic narcissism, and a persistently desensitizing media.


    Children throughout the nation are being raised without expectations, without compassion, and without parents. Every year, my inner-city school is flooded with an increasing tide of feral children; and by feral, I honestly mean feral—children without rudimentary social skills, moral boundaries, or even foundational language ability. We have moved beyond children unable to write their own names to children unable to say their own names.

    And teachers are being blamed for it all.

    Compound these social issues with the push to defund public education, and you have discovered the legislative goal of stripping the poor and working classes of their basic humanity to better enrich and isolate the privileged few governing the nation and driving the engines of economic exploitation and oppression.

    All of this to say why a student is cussing a teacher. Just think where we will be in another ten to twenty years. In my district, we already have at least one student bring a gun to school every year, intending to kill teachers or other students, and this is at the elementary level. Our district never lets these incidents slip out to reach the public, again, to maintain the narrative that teachers are to blame for all problems in education.

    "If your lesson plans were more exciting, Johnny wouldn't bring a gun to school to kill you!" That is where we are as teachers.

    This is not hyperbole. This is no exaggeration. You need only look at the response to the problem to judge your district's financials, quality of education, and regard for teachers.

    A day or two in-school "suspension," playing games on the iPad?

    My father would have beat my rear until I couldn't walk, and I would never have done such a thing ever again. These children have no such structure molding them into healthy, productive human beings. They are being raised to be animals.

    Because animals don't expect much out of life. Which just leaves more resources for the wealthy elite to horde.

    In conclusion, you are not alone. This happens across the nation. It is a worsening problem, and teachers are baring the blame for it all.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2017
  5. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Devotee

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    In ALL grade levels in ALL schools! We just had a student have a melt down and start ripping everything off the shelves and threw books at the counselor when she tried to calm him down. Of course the principal tried to 'talk' to him (and threatened to call mom,) which doesn't result in any real punishment. The kids run the school and they know it! And WE'RE to blame! We can't be the adults in the room and dole out any REAL punishment other than 'talking' and trying to persuade them to make 'good choices.' It's a joke! :rofl:
    But even teachers fall in different places on the discipline spectrum. The TA I subbed with on Friday was OLD school... a 'good kick in the ass' was her remedy for a lot of the children's problems. But some think killing them with 'kindness' and rewarding mediocrity works. It doesn't. It just creates an entitled generation of disrespectful brats! It starts when they're young and gets worse as they get older.
    The people who attack public ed. don't seem to realize that the reason why a lot of students fail is because they CHOOSE to fail and we can't do much. We have to accommodate for every child which means welcoming and putting up with all kinds of crap. And then you just look at your calm/well behaved kids and feel bad because you all feel it. When he was freaking out the kids said, "I'm scared." I told them that he wouldn't hurt them (he just wanted to put on a dramatic show) but I was instructed to take them out. WHY? Get in there and remove HIS ASS! Don't punish the rest of the kids?! That's ludicrous! Like last year one of my students refused to move from the spot where we were about to have a meeting so the VP had a 'grand idea' that WE move. If he won't, we will... HAHAHA So useless! I would have just had the meeting with him there. We let kids control the situation -- and they know it -- which is why they act the way they do.
    It's only going to get worse.
    :cry::sweat:
     
  6. minnie

    minnie Cohort

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    That's sad. I'm sorry that happened to you. Whenever I watch the news and read the newspaper, they are always showing studies about low test scores, bullying, violence at school, blah blah blah. The they always have someone to blame...which are the always the teachers. But NOTHING will ever change unless the families step up. It starts at home. We cannot help these kids if they are raised to be disrespectful. I only have them for 7 hours a day. Then they go home and the disrespect and laziness is constantly reinforced at home. We can't change the home dynamics. Until that changes, public education will continue the way it is or get worse.
     
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  7. Backroads

    Backroads Connoisseur

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    What's sad is these kids want boundaries, social modeling, basic skills, etc. We teachers aren't allowed to provide those, and even if we were, we shouldn't--at least not without the family and the rest of the village doing its job.

    By the time kids get to school, it is often too late.
     
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  8. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Interesting point. I came into teaching later in life as a second career. My former associates and colleagues in the private sector ask me a lot of questions about education as it is a hot topic. I tell them that despite all the media hullabaloo over the "state of education" the attention is really misplaced. It's the old 80/20 rule...80% of education is based on what happens at home, the other 20% is what takes place at school. I see kids leave our school prepared to further their education and contribute to society. I also see kids graduate with the education of a 7th grader in my generation due to the NCLB laws and lacking the social skills to hold down a minimum wage job. What is the difference? It isn't the school.
     
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  9. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Back to the original question: at my school, if a kid cusses me out, I send him out, write him up and then he's in ISS the next day for my period. Unfortunately we don't have a principal so we often don't get the follow up we want, unless we make a big deal. I make a big deal, and follow up with admin that this kid should have a talking-to, and if he's on probation, ten it should be even stricter. Not saying that he needs to be locked up, but it shouldn't even get this far.
     
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  10. vickilyn

    vickilyn Phenom

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    :yeahthat:
     
  11. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    I'll just leave this this lovely student gift here and let you guess what the consequences were....

    Screen Shot 2017-03-19 at 11.25.15 PM.png
     
  12. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Wow. If I got this, I would turn this in, but before that I'd tell the kid that a: you need to learn how to spell, so obviously I could teach you a thing or two, and b: you coward punk, next time have some balls and say it to my face. Then I'd make sure he's suspended for a few days and scared sh..less.

    Thankfully, we don't get love-notes like this, half of the time we get some under the breath cusswords directed at us. (other times they say it loud and proud) At which point I loudly repeat: "What? Are you calling me a f..ing b..ch?? " I say that as loud as I can. I do that all the time, because the kids think it sounds shocking coming from my mouth. I tell them it's just as shocking coming from their mouths when I had done nothing to them.
     
  13. rpan

    rpan Rookie

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    Students sometimes don't see us as humans, just another annoyance in their day. I've had students cuss at me, but my school management is great with that and it's a suspension for doing that. However, I think that's not the solution. I always speak to the kid who cussed at me, and say I'm a person with real feelings, not a robot. If they had a job and someone came in to work and cussed at them for doing their job, how would they feel. Or if someone came into their mom's work and cussed at their mom, how would that feel? I get an apology most of the time.
    I always take the high road because I feel that being the adult, we have to. If we model respect and dignity, then maybe we will get it back in return.
     
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  14. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Companion

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    I'd like to see this on the front page of the New York Times and Washington Post.

    Remember when Idiocracy was just a comedy—not a documentary?

    My guess is that the kid got half a day in the office to play video games on the iPad. But the principal made sure they weren't his favorite video games, so it felt more like punishment.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2017
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  15. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    Even better! Dad was called in, beat his *** in the office, and it was decided this was punishment enough. We then met with Admin and discussed a behavior plan WHERE HE GETS TO LEAVE CLASS FOR FREE TIME IN THE GYM. He had to verbally apologize. That was basically it.

    Now, I don't agree with people beating their kids. However, a home based consequence is not the same as a school based consequence. I also understand the need for positive interventions. I chaired the PBIS committee at my last school. I'm trained in facilitating peace circles and peer juries. I genuinely try to take into consideration the background and home life of my students when getting to the root of their behavior (and this student has a particularly difficult situation)..............but c'monnnnnnnnnnnnn.

    My point is, I think the "f**k you's" are going to get more common, and I think it's a waste of time taking anything to admin. My letter was found and turned in by another teacher. Otherwise, I probably never would have sent it because clearly there's no point. All it got me was more work.
     
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  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    "bolegetas"? Is that supposed to be something about bow-legged? I'm usually good at deciphering these (I've received a few myself), but I'm not sure about this one.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2017
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  17. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Devotee

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    That's what I got from that too.
     
  18. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Devotee

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    I remember when one of the 2nd grade teachers told me that someone had written "Mrs. F is a bitch" on the bathroom wall, she found out and celebrated. She felt like a celebrity!
    :rofl::toofunny:
    You really do have to have balls of steel in this profession!
     
  19. vickilyn

    vickilyn Phenom

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    Bow legged as* b**ch - if they could spell. I've had more than one of these "written assessments." This one would have earned multiple days of ISS for extreme disrespect to staff, and since they provided art work and words, it would have been an easy call. I am guessing that this student is not at grade level. My admin is wonderful when it comes to backing up staff as long as we write it up. ;)
     
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  20. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Thanks for the interpretation I think you are correct. Goodness gracious do I have mixed emotions about this note. on one hand, given the spelling I hope the author is about 6. On the other hand, given the language, I hope that it is a 21 year old drunk sailor on shore leave. Conflicting emotions at play here.:confused: :eek:o_O
     
  21. vickilyn

    vickilyn Phenom

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    Well, I guess it is clear that this isn't my first rodeo, nor would something like this be my first "love note." This is the mentality that is often associated with gangs, poverty, and rampant underachievement. On the streets, being a snitch is as bad as it gets (I'm told) because they feel like they have to trust gang members to have their backs. The reference to MobyMax suggests K-8, the drawings suggest MS, and the spelling and verbiage suggests SPED. I wish OP well - that's a volatile crowd.
     
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